I was thinking about friends. Mostly cuz I was thinking about my rough times when I couldn't help, but getting ahead of myself into doing something, which I can't have it, cuz that was something it didn't work for me. Okay, it has to do with when I was desperate for something. Idk how I can say this, but it's something that might shock some people, so Idk if I should say this. But I was thinking of "Redeeming" myself, but it wouldn't work, cuz I figured I scared them off and they scare me off. When I mean doing something, like having a relationship, but it was just an illusion really. Hehe...
So, this year after summer break, 2014, things gotten better. I didn't talk much about anything before, or anything else, but maybe bits in pieces. Okay, I felt like I wanted to confess myself that I was somewhat a horrible person. Like I didn't forgive some guys that wanted to have sex with me. I felt so angry when they wanted something for themselves and all I wanted was, is to be friends. And I treated some others like it was their fault to go someplace for nothing, and all they can say is, "Let's just be friends" and never came back. Hehe... And then I sarcastically thought to myself, "Do I feel sorry for them, they have no life!" I confessed that to my bro, cuz he knew what was up with me and he told me, "Why would you do that? That would make your life worse for yourself."
Of course, it took me a while to understand it better. So, this year was better, cuz I didn't do anything desperately, and all I thought about was, taking life easy and just focus on what others around me are doing and as for me, just live among others. Just a guy with creative imagination, going for what I wished or something I planned, and get to meet some other dA friends. But not something I'm obsessed with. So, the reason why I told ya guys this, is cuz I haven't been telling you guys about myself much. I mean, its embarrassing, but mostly cuz I'm saving myself from other people issues and its unpredictable.
Sorry for sounding like a downer, but I hope you guys understand this. And I hope I don't sound worse for ya. Cuz I don't want our friendship or acquaintance to get worse. Just so ya know.
Thanks for your support and I am looking forward into keeping up and see what will happen. Life sure has full of surprises. Chat ya all soon.